Let me tell you about a meltdown that my grandson experienced. It’s the worst that I’ve ever seen and it took us both days to recuperate. For some reason, unknown to me and his parents, he freaked. He said it was because he didn’t have any green toys, while all the while there were green toys all around the house. Why green? It is his favorite color.
Anyway, to make a long story short, he laid on his bed for over an hour, crying and shouting that no one cared that he didn’t have any green toys. I tried reasoning with him to no avail. I pointed out all of the green toys in his room while he lay on his bed, tears streaming down his face, saying he had no green toys. I was at my wits end and left him alone to see if he would be able to gain control of his emotions. I checked on him several times, but didn’t interfere. I do know that the overwhelming emotions have to be played out for him to gain control.
I knew that his meltdown had nothing to do with green toys. There was some underlying factor. It may have been something that happened at school that day, or it might have been something that happened a week or month previously. One never knows exactly what sparks an Asperger’s meltdown.
Finally, I voice my opinion. “This is not about green toys,” I told him. “What exactly is it about?” To my surprise he lifted his head off the bed and told me that he’d been teased at school earlier in the day. I felt a thrill go through my body from head to toe. My grandson had actually identified what had caused the meltdown. This is something that Asperger’s sufferers have trouble doing and if they do know, they don’t know how to communicate their feelings.
I told him that it was excellent that he had told me what was causing his problem and offered to help him solve it in a positive way. He listened carefully as I told him what we would do to correct the actions of the child who had teased him. He accepted my solution and then fell asleep exhausted. There were no recurring meltdowns from this incident.