There are hundreds, even thousands, of nonverbal cues; entire careers
are dedicated to cataloging them. The good news: you don't have to be an
expert to start using your body to send the messages you want. There
are seven main transmitters of nonverbal signals which can impact your
conversations with others:
Distance
Body Alignment
Eye Contact
Head Tilts
Facial Expressions
Hands
Feet
1. Distance
Have you ever wondered why twenty adults squeezed in an elevator
suddenly find the indicator lights so fascinating? Anthropologists tell us
that the spacing between two people affects their interaction with each
other. This distances are called "proxemic zones" and have four main
categories: intimate, personal, social, and public. The actual size of
these zones vary from culture to culture and situation to situation, but
they can be generalized. In increasing size, the zones are:
1) Intimate (0-18 inches)
2) Personal (18 inches to 4 feet)
3) Social (4 to 10 feet)
4) Public (10 feet to infinity)
For our purposes, public distance is too far away to have true social
interaction, and intimate space is reserved for the closest
relationships. However, the line between personal space and social space causes
problems for many. Americans tend to maintain greater personal spaces than
many other cultures, and feel crowded if a stranger or new acquaintance
steps too far into their personal zone. If you notice the other person
back away a bit as you talk, respect their space and allow them to set
the "comfort distance" of the conversation. This courtesy may relax the
situation and set the stage for a successful social interaction.
2. Body Alignment
We show agreement, interest, and receptiveness to others by turning our
torsos toward them. People who work in sales are often instructed to
keep their upper bodies facing their prospective customer. Why? Angling
the shoulders away send the signals that you are uncomfortable,
uninterested, or even infriendly. When engaging in conversation with someone,
send an invitation for them to continue speaking by aiming your body to
face theirs.