Now that you’re ready, how are you going to meet potential partners? I stayed in my house for three years after a particularly bad experience, until I realized that Mr. Right was not going to walk through my door—unless he was the Fedex guy! You have to get out if you want to meet potential dates. Go to the bookstore, the mall, and the singles clubs. Join other clubs that interest you, like hiking, birdwatching, dance lessons, or whatever catches your eye. You’ll immediately have something in common!
Tell your friends that you think you’re ready; they might know someone to hook you up with. If you don’t say you’re interested, they may not think of it. This can be the best way to meet people; friends can screen out the ones who aren’t right for you.
Try online dating, but proceed with caution. Be careful and safe. There are just as many kooks on the internet as you’ll find anywhere else—maybe more. I’ve heard women tell stories of dangerous men, and men tell of women who borrow money on the first date—lots of it—and then disappear. Online dating can greatly increase the pool of possible dates. Be sure you’re honest in your profile, and use a recent picture—not one from twenty years ago!
So, you’ve met someone and you’ve made a date. Now what?
Relax! It’s normal to feel nervous at first, but try to remember that a date is supposed to be fun. Admitting that your nervous can be disarming, and often your partner will admit he/she is nervous too.
Be comfortable and confident. It’s important to wear something nice but comfortable, so you’re not tugging at your shirt (or skirt) all evening. Be sure of yourself. Nothing is more attractive than self-confidence! Look in the mirror before you leave, smile, and tell yourself: I’m worth it.
Be yourself. Putting on airs won’t work, and people can tell when you’re artificial. Be real, and she’ll appreciate you all the more!
Don’t talk to much. If you talk a lot when you’re nervous, now is the time to clamp it. Excessive talking can make you look self-centered, and that’s NOT attractive.
Listen! The person sitting across from you is just as starved for attention as you are. He wants to be heard. You’ll get to know who he is if you practice good active listening.
Avoid hot topics (like politics). Keep it light and not too personal. She should NOT know everything about you, from your shoe size to your income, at the end of the first date. If you know you tend to reveal too much, plan some conversation starter questions beforehand, like: Tell me about your hopes and dreams. Tell me something you’ve always wanted to do, but never did. Tell me what you liked to do when you were a kid.