It’s a given that friends will call each other to gripe the instant that something goes wrong. That’s why we’re friends; we offer a sympathetic shoulder and a listening ear when things go awry. However, take mental stock of your last few conversations with your friend. Have they consisted of you railing against your significant other (or lack thereof), your boss, your weight, your wardrobe, your mother, and the incredible unfairness of parking tickets since you were only parked for five minutes? When was the last time you called your friend just to chat about how she’s getting along? You may not even realize that you’re monopolizing the conversations. Your friend may give such wonderful advice that you seek it out for every little thing, inadvertently getting so caught up in your own issues that you forget to ask about hers. Even the most tolerant and uncomplaining friend is guaranteed to start avoiding your calls if all you do is use her as your own personal sounding board.
Not reciprocating favors
She loans you her prized Kate Spade handbag and matching shoes for your hot date, but when she asks to borrow your cashmere sweater, it’s suddenly “at the dry cleaners’.” She stays at work on her lunch hour just so you can use her car, and you return it with the tank half-empty. There’s not much to say about this “don’t” except … don’t. It’s incredibly tacky to accept another person’s generosities without offering some reciprocation, and you can bet that if this is the way your friendship routinely goes, she’s not going to be generous for much longer.
Betrayal
There isn’t a much faster – or more brutal – way to end a friendship. If she confides in you, it should go no further than the two of you: period. You’re no real friend if she can’t rely on you to keep her deepest, darkest secrets; her heartfelt confessions and embarrassing moments should never become fuel for the fire of local gossip, especially not if they’re spread around by someone she’s supposed to be able to trust. If you feel the urge to spill the beans, ask yourself why you think it’s necessary and what good will come of it. You won’t be able to think of any good reason, trust me – and it just might help to keep those salacious gossiping urges in check.