One of the first things that should be established is how long your adult child plans to stay. Will it be six months, a year, two years? By not establishing a clear time line many parents find themselves wondering if their children will ever move. The amount of time a child needs to live at home will vary, depending on your child’s goals and the reason for moving back home. A solid understanding of the length of time they will stay will help keep them motivated and working on their ultimate independence.
Money
Parents need to establish upfront if the adult child will be expected to pay rent. There is nothing wrong with charging rent. If the child returned for financial reasons and you are trying to help them out, maybe not charging rent will hasten their departure. That’s understandable and as long as it doesn’t jeopardize your financial wellbeing, it shouldn’t be a problem.
What about utilities? Who will pay for food? Buying food for even one extra person can get expensive. If there are grandchildren involved, or more than one adult, the expense can be a financial stress. Communicate your expectations about who buys food, if utilities will be shared, and any other monetary concerns you may have.
House Rules
Discuss your thoughts and desires about guests, parties, smoking, loud stereos and any other expectations you have prior to the move in date. This saves on frustration and misunderstandings after your child moves home. If they don’t like the rules you set up beforehand, they certainly aren’t going to like them any better after moving in, and maybe other arrangements should be made. Remember, it is your house and your rules. Having the respect of abiding by them is what a responsible adult child should do.