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The Ins and Outs of Internet Dating 
 
by Laurie June 10, 2005

The Problems of Online Dating

At the same time, online dating does have its share of problems. Just as you can make yourself look as good as possible, others can do the same. While chatting online, it is next to impossible to get an accurate idea of what a person is like. The people you talk to may even be lying about themselves, and the pictures they post could actually be of someone else. Until you meet someone in person, you do not really know much about them. Even if you are not actually lied to, it is still easy to imagine that someone is perfect based on their carefully prepared online postings, but then be disappointed when you meet the real person.

Some lies and misrepresentations may be more dangerous in nature. Con artists, thieves, and even sexual predators can pose as nice, average people online in order to meet new victims. Because the people they chat to might develop a false sense of trust and security, they can be especially vulnerable. To avoid these dangers, online daters should remember that the people they are chatting to are strangers. While dating online, you should never give out personal information, such as phone numbers, addresses, and schedules. You should avoid any one who comes off as creepy or pushy; trust your instinct. If you want to meet in person, pick a neutral, public location.

The Gray Area of Online Cheating

Online dating can seem incredibly casual and harmless; after all, there is no physical contact. Some people who are in exclusive relationships begin dating online even though they would never cheat in “real world.” Many of these online relationships might begin rather innocently, but sometimes full blown affairs develop out of them. Even if the relationship stays online, considerable damage can still be done.

Online relationships that take time away from committed relationships can be very hurtful, even if no physical contact is being made. And flirtatious banter can be hurtful, too. Even though online dating might seem safe and even less real than other types of dating, remember that there is a real person typing to you from another computer. And even if you do not consider your actions to be deceitful or unfaithful, your partner might. As a general rule of thumb, do not begin any relationships online that you would not be comfortable beginning at a bar. And if you feel the need to hide your conversations from your partner, you are definitely doing something wrong.

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