Although we get visitation with our son, we needed to make sure he was not left out when he was at his mother's home. We made sure he could come to the hospital once the baby was born...one month early...and we would constantly relay messages from the baby, about being missed and loved when he was not around. We reiterated the important role that he had in teaching and guiding the baby and showing him how to be a good citizen. But most importantly, as a stepmother, and in order to relieve his earlier worries about me not needing him any more, I had to make sure that he felt just as loved as the child I gave birth to. So I always made sure I pluralized everything when he was around. If I made a comment about how beautiful my baby was, I made sure to add, “BOTH my boys are gorgeous.” It wasn’t a lie, they are both adorable, but I did have to remind myself to include my older son in my comments since the majority of the time I just had the baby with me. Anyway, being the center of attention is a hard status to relinquish and our attempts to validate his importance, while no longer being an only child, may have backfired. Whenever we had guests and they commented on the baby or surrounded the infant with awe, our 8 year old would interrupt, "I am the big brother, I am the big brother," and he would repeat this fact until someone acknowledged his existence. Once at the pediatrician's office as the Doctor was checking the baby's breathing, our son literally got in the man's face and demanded, "Do you know who I am?" The Doctor removed the stethoscope from his ears and asked, "Who are you?" and our son responded with an air of superiority, "I am the big brother."