Tips for Improving Your Relationship With the In-Laws:
Be Proactive. If you are sincerely trying to build a relationship and being positive toward your spouse’s family it will be easier for them to see your efforts and follow your lead in building a successful relationship.
Don’t Compete With Other Family Members. This is easier said than done. Try not to be competitive with other family members. If you don’t feel you are as good of a cook as your sister-in-law then focus on something else. Constantly trying to be better than someone else can take its toll on your self-esteem and consume your thoughts and actions. Pick out the positives in yourself and your family and focus on making your life better. People have their own unique talents and we can’t be perfect at everything.
Accept Reality. You probably will disagree with your in-laws more often than agree, but it is how you handle the situation that will determine the relationship. Be realistic, if you feel you need to express your opinion then do it in a way that is not offensive to the other person. Putting a positive spin on the situation can help eliminate future conflicts and relieve unwanted tension.
Be Considerate. Ask yourself “how would I want the other person to act in this situation.” Just because you don’t agree on certain issues doesn’t mean you can’t listen to someone else’s opinion. Consider the feelings of other family members and try to accommodate them in a reasonable way.
Practice Restraint. Control your emotions whenever possible. Don’t raise your voice or yell in “heated” situations or conversations. Try to calm down before responding to criticism or comments you don’t agree with. “Think before you act or speak,” is probably the best advice that anyone can give.
Smile. Don’t let anyone know what is going on with your marriage or your family if you don’t want opinions and advice. Attending family gatherings and just socializing without discussing your marriage or family issues can help steer people away from offering unsolicited advice.