Why Your Child Stays Awake at Night for no Apparent Reason
When my wife and I brought our child home from the hospital, we did everything we could to let her sleep whenever she wanted. If she drifted off during the day, we would turn down the television or radio or move our daughter to her room. If she stayed in the living room while sleeping, we closed the shades so that it would be as dark as possible. After my wife returned to work, I would often take the opportunity to catch a nap while my daughter slept. I even turned the ringer on the phone off and put my cell phone on vibrate so that no noise would disturb my little dozing angel. I knew that my behavior during the day was quite normal. All of the stay-at-home parents that I knew did the same thing. Even a friend of mine with two other children would be sure to separate her older kids from her baby whenever it was time for an impromptu nap. I did not figure out until later that my desire to let my baby sleep was precisely what caused her to remain awake at night.
The womb is a very dark place to live for nine months. It is not surprising then, to find out that children are not born with a very good idea of the difference between night and day. Under these circumstances, it is rather naïve to expect our babies to learn to fall asleep at night on their own. Eventually, they figure it out. However, we often do things as parents that actually make it more difficult for our infants to learn to sleep at night. What follows is a brief discussion of some of the more common mistakes that new parents (and many grizzled veterans) make.
Mistake #1: It’s all about tone
The first mistake that many parents make is that they never change tones when talking to their children. Whether it is noon or midnight, babies hear the same soothing voice from daddy and/or mommy. This is especially the case when we notice are children beginning to drift away into dreamland. The “problem” is that our children are quite smart. If they hear the same intonations during the day as they hear at night, they become convinced that every hour of the day is created equal. It should be not surprise, then that our children do not learn the difference between night and day.