Will the mom-to-be know about the shower? There are pros and cons to both ways, but more and more expectant moms now prefer to know about a planned shower. There are various reasons but some of them include making sure she doesn't have other plans for the day of the shower, being able to suggest names for the guest list, and being afforded the dignity to "dress up" for this important event in her life. It has been a stress to many new moms to have their husband or partner jump up and suggest getting ice cream or something and going with him in old sweats, only to find him dropping her off at her baby shower. Another good reason for knowing about the shower would be that it would allow the mom-to-be to rest before the gathering so that she can feel her best on party day.
Will you plan the shower for before the baby is born, or after delivery? This will be something that the guest of honor will be able to state her wishes about, if it is not a surprise party. You will find that it is truly a 50% chance she will choose one way over the other. Many expectant parents enjoy having the baby things before the birth so that they can arrange the nursery, and better prepare for the birth. It gives them a chance to know what they will need to buy before the tiny new family member comes home from the hospital. On the other side of the coin, many people prefer waiting until after the birth so that the guests will be able to choose more gender specific gifts for the baby.
Also concerning the timing of the shower, keep in mind that due dates and births are rarely precise. If the shower is being held before the birth, 4 to 6 weeks before the due date is a good time frame. If you are holding the shower after the birth, remember that babies can be late as well as early, so about three weeks after the due date is a good idea for the timing.
How will you record this event for the mom-to-be? It's not up to the hostess to provide a photographer or video person for the event, but you may want to make it your gift, along with the shower, for the guest of honor. It only involves someone, maybe even one of the guests, agreeing to take plenty of pictures, or a home video of the event. The mom-to-be will get the pictures when they are developed or the video right away, or perhaps after it is copied, should anyone else want a copy of it.