If you are fighting about one problem, do not bring up other unrelated problems. It is impossible to deal with lots of issues at once, so your best chance of resolving one problem is to focus on it. Also, when people bring up past issues, they are usually just trying to hurt their significant other by demonstrating that he or she always messes up. That simply isn’t helpful. And if a past issue had been resolved, it is unfair to bring it up again. Everyone makes mistakes; you have to learn to forgive and forget.
Don’t Make Threats
Threats do not solve anything. You are supposed to be working through a problem, not forcing the other person to do what you want out of fear. Specifically, do not threaten to end the relationship unless you seriously think that is the only solution. Such threats are hurtful and show that you do not care enough about the relationship to try to make it work.
Don’t Get Physical
Do not throw things, do not hit things, and never, ever hurt your significant other. Even if you are only damaging inanimate objects, this behavior is still threatening and signals that you are out of control. If you cannot keep your temper, then explain that you need to go for a walk and calm down and that you will continue the discussion later.
Get Help
If you and your significant other simply cannot fight well, consider getting outside help. Whether you buy a book on relationships or seek couple’s therapy, do something to sae your relationship before it is too late.