Leaving may be extremely difficult for a victim. Chances are
she will have ties to the abuser such as children, financial stability, or
emotional dependence. When thinking of leaving an abusive relationship, it’s
imperative to locate and contact any shelters in the area that deal with
battered women. Also, legal help is advisable as well. Furthermore, emotional
support from friends and family will help a victim make the break.
Additionally, checking with one’s employer to see if they have an employee
assistance program for domestic violence can be helpful.
Making a Plan
While an abusive relationship is dangerous, the risk of danger increases
when the victim plans to leave. It’s not uncommon for an abuser to become more
threatening. A victim should NEVER tell her abuser she is leaving until after
she has a safety plan in place. This ensures her safety as well as the safety
of her children. Steps she should follow should include:
Secure important documents
such as birth certificates, insurance cards, bank records, and address
books in a location outside the home. You may also want to keep extra cash
handy as well.
Keep extra clothing,
toiletries, and cash in your car.
Let dependable
friends/relatives know about your situation. Create a code in case you
need to call them for help. Keep them aware of your activities.
Review safety plans with your
children, letting them know a safe place they can go, preferably a trusted
neighbor’s house. Teach them how to call 911.
Keep a cell phone in an
easily accessible place. Many domestic abuse programs provide these to
victims at no charge.
Be sure schools know who has
your permission to pick up your children at school.
If you need to get away, it’s
best to stay at a shelter rather than a place where your abuser knows you
will be.
Get a restraining order to
protect you legally at home, your place of work, or to protect your
children at school.
If you have to go to the
hospital due to the abuse, have the doctor document it.
Join a support group.
Keep the National Domestic
Violence hotline handy- 1-800-799-SAFE. (English and Spanish options are
available).
Find a lawyer or advocate
that specializes in domestic abuse cases.