After you do your own personal soul searching and learn how to find the
“objective” niche, you are ready to discuss your child’s desire to live with
the other parent.
The atmosphere surrounding this conversation must be open, honest and
unbiased. Your child must feel secure enough to discuss this with you, so take
this into consideration. On a positive note, your child has brought this desire
to your attention, meaning that he or she feels as if they can have discussions
with you rather than go behind your back or hide their true feelings. They
deserve much respect for their honesty, and your discussion should be based on
the decision, not your desires.
While having this conversation, your child and you must revisit the
questions you previously asked yourself – this will allow him/her to discuss
exactly why they want to live with the other parent and allow you to introduce
some questions that they may not have thought about. Schooling, extracurricular
activities, visitation, lifestyle changes and other factors must be considered
by your child so they can fully understand the implications of living with the
other parent. They may discover that this new living arrangement may not be as
beneficial as they once believed, and might change their mind about the move.
On the other hand, they may actually have valid points and discover even
more benefits for living with the other parent. Remember – this is okay, and it
is not something that should be brushed off or ignored. You are having this
conversation to make such a decision, not to convince them otherwise.
So, if the outcome is, yes, they feel they want to live with the other
parent and have compelling reasons to make the move, and you are sure that the
other parent can do a good job as a full-time parent, then there is one more
step that you must complete – discussing this situation with the other parent.