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How to Flirt Successfully 
by Rita Templeton July 13, 2005

Make use of body language.

You can talk until you’re blue and smile until your face hurts, but if you’re not using the right body language, you’re probably going to be out of luck.  Body language, ranging from subtle to blatantly “come-hither,” can send powerful signals to the opposite sex.  It’s one of the things that a person first notices about someone else, even on a subconscious level.  Maximize your flirting skills by throwing in a few of these inviting gestures:

  • Play with your hair.  Running your hands through it is sexy, but twirling a strand around your fingers can convey nervousness, so be careful.  Toss it playfully over your shoulder.
  • Lick your lips.  Don’t lick them so much that you resemble Aunt Edna gearing up for a wet sloppy one, but simply running your tongue over your lips to moisten them can be incredibly seductive.
  • Cross your leg toward the person you’re flirting with.
  • Point – not with your finger, but with your body (you may already be doing this naturally).  We instinctively point toward people we’re attracted to: our legs, feet, toes, and hands turn in their direction.
  • Blink a little more than usual.  It isn’t necessary to look as though you’re batting your eyes, but when we like what we see, we tend to (again, unconsciously) blink more rapidly.  Try throwing a few extra blinks in and see what happens.  If the person you’re talking to subconsciously increases their blink rate to match yours, sparks could fly!
  • Expose your neck.  There’s something about a smooth expanse of neck that can drive men wild.  Showing your neck is a sign of feminine vulnerability.  Try tossing your hair to one side or looking over your shoulder.
  • Be a “manly-man.”  Guys, it’s a proven fact that women, whether they realize it or not, are most attracted to very masculine characteristics.  So pay attention to your posture: square your shoulders and stand straight and tall. 
  • Mirror, mirror.  One of the best ways to make the person you’re flirting with feel connected to and in tune with you is to subtly mimic their behaviors.  This does not, however, mean copy their every move; that’s best reserved for kids trying to annoy their siblings.  It just means that you should follow their cues; if they lean toward you, you lean toward them.  If they play with their hair, you play with yours.  Don’t immediately follow their gestures – wait about thirty seconds.  That’s enough time so that they won’t consciously notice that you’re mimicking them.
  • Do the brow-lift.  When you catch someone’s eye across the room, hold their gaze and raise your eyebrows (one eyebrow, if you’re physically capable) for a second.  Just a flash.  This, too, is something we tend to unconsciously do when we’re attracted. Watch for a return brow-lift and you’ll know you’re good to go!

Some body-language don’ts: leaning away from the person, crossing your arms in front of you, drumming your fingers as if you’re bored, looking tense (that means having your lips pursed, your brow furrowed and your shoulders hunched).  All of these virtually scream “Go away!” and should be avoided at all costs if you’re trying to let someone know you’re interested.  If you note any of these signals coming from someone you’re trying to flirt with, your best bet is to move on to a more receptive target.



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