One of the toughest things in effectively helping children with their
homework is to allow them to do it themselves. As parents, our age and
experience makes us quicker, and it's tempting to take the pencil and say,
"Here. Let me show you." If you are holding the pencil, your child is not
learning anything.
For learning to take place, children need to move through a phase of
cognitive dissonance—they need to be confused before they can figure out a new
concept. In order to help your child learn independently, allow your child the
freedom to work through difficult assignments alone.
If your adolescent is really struggling with an assignment, it is OK to offer
help once or twice. Tell him or her that you see that this assignment may be
harder than the others, and ask if you can help. However your child answers,
respect the answer.
Keep it Organized
While you shouldn't force your help with homework assignments, organization
is one area where you can be more authoritative. Most adolescents are naturally
disorganized, and like to crumple all of their papers and assignments into the
bottom of their backpacks, or shove them in their textbooks. When the teacher
asks them to turn in their homework, they can't find it.
Many schools give students agendas or planners. These are fabulous tools
that, when used consistently by students, parents, and teachers, promote good
study habits and frequent parent/teacher communication. If your school doesn't
distribute planners, buy one for your child and require him or her to record
homework assignments inside. During your homework routine, you'll be able to
quickly see what your child has for homework that day, and your child will be
able to check off completed assignments.
Homework folders are a critical part of good homework organization. Buy a
sturdy, two-pocket folder for your child to keep in his or her backpack at all
times, and label one side "Bring Home," and the other side, "Return to School."
When a teacher gives a homework worksheet or instructs the class to finish an
assignment at home, tell your child to put it straight into the "Bring Home"
side of the folder. When the assignment is finished, it goes into the other
pocket, where it will be easy for your child to access when the teacher collects
homework. Be sure to check this folder every day, and clean it out weekly.