You probably won’t see a long-term couple shoving their tongues down each other’s throats on a park bench (if you do, they may be the aforementioned “appearances” kind of couple). But what you will see as a common denominator among happy twosomes are the smaller things: hand holding, a pat on the back, a peck on the cheek, a stroke of the hair. Touch is absolutely crucial to a relationship, and I’m talking about nonsexual physical contact here. It shows your partner that you still care, that you still love the feel of his hands or her hair, and it shows the world that firmly attached and proud to be with your mate.
Don’t underestimate the power of touch; major sources of marital drama can stem from something as simple as a loss of affectionate gestures. If you’ve gradually stopped holding hands and you can’t remember the last time you gave an impromptu peck on the cheek, your partner may be inclined to read into it and entertain a variety of theories: you’ve stopped loving her. You’re cheating on him. You don’t find her attractive or worthy any more. This can cause a domino effect of diminished communication, anxiety, and resentment, and before you know it – boom! – you may find your relationship on the rocks. It would be sad to let a relationship wither and die over something as trivial as a miscommunication about the quality or frequency of affection, such an easily fixable problem.
There are lots of ways to be affectionate with your partner without making onlookers want to scream, “Get a room!” There’s nothing wrong with holding hands in public: as you’re walking together, waiting in line somewhere, or at the movies. Neither will anyone be offended by a quick kiss or a warm hug. Play footsie with each other under the table at a restaurant. At home, shower or bathe together when given the opportunity. Make affection a priority: don’t forget to make time to hug and kiss your partner before you leave for work. Even when you’re in a hurry you can still throw in an affectionate gesture – a pat on the back as you’re on your way to answer the phone, for example. And nothing makes your partner feel more needed, wanted, and loved than straight-up asking for a hug or kiss.
Affection provides emotional warmth and a reassurance of your love. Happy couples don’t begrudge their partners of those things – they don't hold back their caring physical expressions.