Looking directly into someone else's eyes is a powerful nonverbal tool.
People maintain eye contact longer with people they like and tend to
avert their gaze from those they dislike. Begin a conversation by looking
the other person in the eye to establish communication, and "check
back" regularly to maintain the connection. Beware of staring, however:
direct gazes lasting more than three continuous seconds can actually raise
stress levels between the viewers. Breaking eye contact intermittently
is quite natural and sends a relaxed, welcoming signal, not one of
disinterest.
4. Head Tilts
The position of the head is a strong indicator of the speaker's
feelings. Lifting the chin and tilting the head back sends a message of
contempt, superiority, even arrogance. Couples flirting often tilt their
heads to the side to express coyness, sensitivity, and receptiveness.
Leaning your head slightly forward indicates agreement, concern for the
other person, and attention to what is being said.
5. Facial Expressions
People uncomfortable in social gatherings often adopt a neutral, or
"expressionless" face. This blank face, however, sends a subtle message to
others to keep their distance. Keep an alert, positive expression to
welcome others to come and talk. And smile like you mean it: forced or
"polite" smiles usually mean a person is shy or uncomfortable in their
current situation. A truly heartfelt smile warms interpersonal relations
like few other expressions.
6. Hands
One of our most sensitive tactile receptors, the positions and motions
of the hand convey a wealth of information about a person. Crossed arms
are a common sign of a defensive attitude. When anxiety increases,
people touch their own face or lips, hold an arm or wrist, or massage a
hand or the back of their neck to unconsciously relieve stress. Making
gestures with upraised, open palms treats listeners as allies, and
encourages agreement and rapport. Conversely, palm-down gestures show
dominance, denial, and distance.
7. Feet
Foot positions reflect our attitudes as well. Pointing your feet
towards someone sends a message of inclusion; pointing them away shows you'd
prefer to be somewhere else. A dangling foot (especially in a high heel
shoe) is a sign of a seductive or playful mood, while firmly-rooted
feet indicate a person who wishes to be left alone. One of the best
nonverbal ways to use your feet to show interest in talking, of course, is to
take the plunge and walk over to them!