You don’t have to be Dr. Ruth in order to answer questions about sex. Obviously you have at least a little experience with it – otherwise you wouldn’t have a child to be discussing it with! You’ll be surprised at how much you know; most of your child’s questions will be basic. Remember, it’s all new to them, so they’ll just want to know the fundamentals – at least at first. And if you’re surprised by a question you don’t know the answer to, don’t try to come up with something; simply tell the child that you’re not sure, but you’ll find out. Realizing that even parents are still learning about sexuality may even help to make your kid feel more at ease.
You don't think your child is ready for such a subject.
Kids are naturally curious about everything, even sex. You can tailor your explanations of things to make them more age-appropriate. For example, the alarming “Where do babies come from?” question: if your child is very young, you can explain that babies are made when a daddy’s special seed combines with a mommy’s. If the child is a little older, you can add in exactly how the two “seeds” combine, and exactly where they come from. If your child doesn’t ask questions about sex by age six, it’s up to you to initiate the discussion. Don’t worry – you can do it! The earlier you initiate discussion, the easier it will be to keep an open dialog as your child grows.
You feel that talking about sex might encourage sexual activity.
Part of the reason it’s so difficult to talk to our kids – older kids especially – about sex is that, on some level, we believe that discussing it will pique their curiosity and encourage them to experiment. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth; in fact, not talking about it could be detrimental. According to the American Social Health Association, research has shown that “… uninformed children are at greater risk for early sexual activity, sexually transmitted diseases or infections (including AIDS), pregnancy, sexual exploitation, and abuse.” If your kids don’t learn about sex from you, they’ll learn about it from friends who may be misinformed, from the media, or though their own casual experimentation.
Be honest – even if you don’t know an answer or are uneasy about something.
Treat your child with respect and dignity – don’t laugh at any questions, even if you think it’s cute.
Listen. It’s the most important part of communication!
Don’t treat every little thing as a crisis. If you find out that your teenaged daughter has been sexually active, don’t fall to pieces over it and fly off the handle yelling and screaming; encourage her to be responsible, make sure she knows the risks and consequences of sexual activity, and thank your lucky stars that you found out before a real crisis occurred. Then, privately, go scream into a pillow.