One thing almost all teenage parents have in common is the
understandable feeling that their social life will never be the same. Many teenage
parents report losing all or most of their friends as the result of
their sudden parenthood. One 16 year-old mother recalls bringing her baby
out with friends and hearing the unfeeling comment, “Are you bringing
THAT with you?”
For most people your age, this is a time of fun and games and they will
not understand your situation. It is useful to befriend people who like
children, but they won’t necessarily relate to your new life. You need
to create your own support group.
This might mean making connections
with other teenage parents in your neighborhood or trying to find chat
groups for teenage parents online. It’s a good idea to seek out a mentor,
someone who was in the same situation you are finding yourself in now
and who survived it.
Depression can result from the feeling that no one
understands you, and, with everything you have to worry about, the last
thing you need to zap your energy is the blues.
Married (or Single) with Children
Some teenage couples who face early parenthood embrace the new
responsibility by getting married. They feel that marriage is a natural result
of their feelings toward one another, although the purpose for getting
married came a bit early. Many others get married only because of
parental and societal pressure, because they feel that they “have to” for
the sake of the child.
With the overwhelming financial and social
problems many teenage parents face, such half-hearted marriages rarely last,
and if they do, they are often unhappy unions. If you feel committed to
your partner, marriage is a good option, especially if you have family
support.
Don’t get into the “It’s you and me against the world”
mentality and marry your partner only because you feel like you need someone
to cling to or because you don’t think it “looks good” to be alone.
Support is more lasting if it comes from an adult mentor or parent than an
unwilling spouse, and divorce is often so troublesome that young
couples
wonder why they rushed to get married in the first place. Again, you
don’t have the energy now to endure a marriage made out of panic.