Caregivers find that the task of becoming a main support and care provider for someone else takes a huge emotional toll. It’s common for caregivers to experience bouts of crying, to feel panic, exhaustion, or other strong emotions. Don’t feel guilty – emotions are normal and it’s best to identify and express them.
Common emotions that cause caregivers difficulties include guilt. Caregivers often feel that they could or should do more, that they are not giving as much as possible. Whether it’s time, physical care, emotional support, or household chores, many caregivers feel a deep sense of guilt. If they are impatient, hurried, or short with the person they care for, guilt can become intense and a difficult burden to carry. Although it’s a natural response to the overwhelming task of care giving, it’s not necessary. Realize that you feel guilty, remember that many things – such as the patient’s condition – are beyond your control, and focus on the things that you do accomplish.
Another common feeling is anger. It is okay to be angry that someone you love is sick, that he or she needs constant care, that your life has been turned upside down, and that other family members are not shouldering their part of the load. It’s emotionally healthy to rail against a fate you don’t like – someone with a terminal illness. As long as you don’t hurt anyone else (feelings or physically) with your anger, anger is natural. If anger becomes a major issue, it may be time to seek therapy. Suppressed anger is not healthy and could lead to health problems that would complicate being a caregiver. It is not beneficial to anyone involved when the caregiver requires care.
Fear is another emotion that many caregivers must face. Caregivers are afraid of the prognosis of the illness, afraid of complications, and afraid of dealing with the daily difficulties. Caregivers sometimes fear they will not be able to deal with future events or even the daily tasks required. Fear is another emotion that is normal but one that must be faced and put to rest, or removed to a manageable level.