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Online Dating 101: Looking for Love 
 
by Heleigh Bostwick June 03, 2005

Red Flags

1. Constant references to an ex-spouse or partner or a female friend that seems a little too special might mean that there is something else going on and he or she may not be emotionally available—at least not right now.

2. Men and women who are newly separated after a long marriage or relationship should be treated with caution. The same goes for anyone embroiled in a nasty divorce or custody battle. That is not to say they wouldn’t be a good partner for you in the future or are not serious about a new relationship, but how long do you want to wait while the other person sorts out her life?

3. Beware of men (or women) who only give out their cell phone number. True, these days many people do only have a cell phone and not a landline phone, but they probably do have a job and a work number. Always get a home number, or at the very least a work number, by the second or third date--if it gets that far of course.

4. If either party mentions the word s-e-x in any form--noun, verb, adverb, or adjective--during your first conversation (either on the phone or in person) he or she is only looking for a fling. If this is what you want you’ve met your match, if not, be flattered that he or she thinks you’re a hot commodity, but don’t waste your time.

5. Displaying age inappropriate behaviors are another red flag. Staying out all night clubbing or hanging out with 20-something year olds when you are in your 40s indicates a degree of immaturity.

6. Someone who calls frequently (several times a day) or wants to see you several times a week at the start of a relationship is probably bad news. Either they are so eager for a relationship that they don’t care who they are dating or they are needy and insecure.

7. Beware of the serial dater. One of the problems with online dating is the opportunity to have hundreds of men and women to choose from. Many men and women get caught up in the “there’s always something better around the corner” mentality.

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