It is not unusual to go through several sitters before finding one that is compatible with your senior parent and the family’s way of doing things. Seasoned sitters are well aware of this, as are referral agencies, making it a little easier to make changes when your elderly parent has trouble adjusting to the situation.
Keep in mind that your dislike of someone may not reflect your parent’s feelings. You may very well have a personality clash with someone your parent adores. Keep perspectives on the proper level to avoid second guessing decisions. Do not hesitate to make changes at any point it becomes obvious that the sitter/senior relationship is not in the best interest of your parent.
How You Can Help
Families can make a sitter’s job more or less difficult. A little information goes a long way in alleviating problems before they get started. Following are suggestions of how you can help ease the situation for the sitter, as well as your parent:
If the sitter’s job description says she doesn’t do windows, please keep in mind that she doesn’t do windows. Don’t ask.
Be available for emergency calls or to answer any questions the sitter may have regarding your parent.
Do not ask the sitter to baby-sit your children. It’s hard enough looking after your parent.
It is not the sitter’s responsibility to sit your pets while you are out of town. Do not put him/her on the spot by asking.
Be on time with his/her paycheck.
If your parent insists the sitter do work that isn’t on the job description (i.e. mowing the lawn), compensate her for the extra work.
Make the sitter a sample itinerary of your elderly parent’s normal week so she will know what to expect. (Monday – hairdresser; Tuesday – family night; Wednesday – grocery day; Thursday – Senior Citizens Lunch, etc.)
Speak up regarding your parent’s pet peeves, or the little things that may cause your parent to become irate, such as asking the sitter not to refer to absorbent protective underwear as diapers.