Communicate your thoughts about household chores. Who will do the dishes? What about messes? If there are children involved, it should be made very clear that you welcome them, but you are still just the grandparent. Many adult children revert back to when mom took care of them. They should be reminded that you are not there to do the cooking (shared at the very least), cleaning up after them, laundry and any other chore that comes with kids. They are adults and should take care of their needs and surroundings appropriately. Although your life will be different in many ways, you should not be saddled with extra household chores or domestic duties. Frustration and resentment will be the result. Make yourself very clear in the beginning.
Pets
Everyone loves their pet, but if sonny brings the black lab home unannounced, there are going to be some very hard feelings on both sides. In addition to pet hair, barking or scratched furniture, a pet brings with it its own set of financial responsibilities. Who will pay for the pet’s food? There will undoubtedly be veterinarian bills. Who will be responsible to clean up after the pet? Walk the pet? All these issues should be resolved before the move in date.
Child Care
Nothing can take the joy out of being a grandparent more than having to be a built in babysitter. Communicate your independence and desire to come and go as you please if that’s what you want. Obviously there is nothing wrong with babysitting your grandchildren. When it becomes a prison sentence though, those beautiful kids don’t look quite as charming as they did a few months ago.