Finally, I address a topic that will almost never come up between your nanny and yourself. She may tell you not to come home late four nights in a row, she may ask you to scrub the tub she bathes your child in, but she will probably never ask you not to give her gifts. If you are an hour late all week, and feel bad for making her wait, resist the temptation to buy her a gift certificate for a massage. Massages are nice, but most nannies would prefer that you pay them overtime. Resist the urge to make up for the fact that you are a slob by buying her a cashmere sweater. The nanny probably has different taste than you, and could have put that $200 to better use.
Don’t feel guilty for making your nanny do extra work. Pay her, thank her, and move on. If you still want to give the occasional gift, go ahead, but not instead of the compensation she deserves. Don’t overload on the gifts, either. Your nanny does not want to pretend that she “just loves” the third holiday appliqué sweater you picked up for her. Keep your relationship friendly, but professional. She is a professional, after all.
Most likely there may be other snags and bumps with your nanny, just as there are in any relationship. Your nanny is with your children for a good part of the week. If she is happy, your children will benefit all the more. Be good to her, she’ll go that extra mile. Just remember that childcare is not an exact science, and there will always be issues. Talk to your nanny, work them out amicably, and never forget the importance of compromise. In the end, it is the welfare of your children that counts the most.