When you have found the right website, the next step is, of course, to find the right person. Knowing exactly what you want in your future life partner helps a lot. Hopefully, you already know that. If you are not sure, you might have to sit down and think about it, very hard, before you start looking at the profiles. Here are some helpful questions to ask yourself:
What do you value the most in a man/woman? What qualities are you looking for? What type of a personality? Character? Mindset?
What about education? Would you prefer a college graduate? Would you only date someone with a college degree?
If you have never been married, is it important to you to find someone who has never been married as well? Would you consider someone who has been divorced? How about a widow/widower?
How do you feel about children? Do you want any? How many? How soon? Is it okay if your future spouse has children from previous marriage?
What about religion? Politics?
What about hobbies and sports? Would you like your mate to fully share your interests, or would you like someone whose interests are different than yours so that you both can learn something new?
Which ones of your preferences are a must, and which ones are negotiable?
Be honest in representing yourself
Now that you have made sure you know what you are looking for, it is time to put together your own profile. Portray yourself truthfully. We all know how it often goes on a “regular date,” when both the man and the woman are trying to impress each other, putting their best foot forward and, consciously or not, trying to be different from what they really are. Don’t make the same mistake on the Internet. The reality is going to hit sooner or later, so honesty is the best policy. Yes, you might get more men to write to you if you say that you love to cook (more women if you say that you always clean your house and never watch sports), but if it’s not true, what’s the point? You will not be able to live up to the image you have created, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. So, if you hate cooking, say so. If you don’t like partying, don’t pretend that you do. It’s okay. There are other people who feel this way, and they will be glad to find someone like them.
My mother used to advice me not to tell men that I was a novelist, “because them writers are no good housekeepers, and no man would want such a wife.” I did exactly the opposite and stated in my profile that I was a writer, and shared that it was one of the most important things in my life. Did I scare off some men by doing that? Perhaps. If so, they were not right for me, anyway, and I’m glad. My husband later told me that my being a writer was one of the reasons he had become interested in me. He thought it was fascinating, and he always wanted a wife whose occupation would go with her anywhere she moves.