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Looking For a Date? 
 
by Devrie Paradowski July 01, 2005

Secrets of Attraction

Here is a short list of what you can do to fine-tune your dating style:

  • Watch for the non-verbal cues of attraction and approach those people.
  • Make eye contact with your date and mirror his or her body language. Mirroring body language gives the perception of an unspoken connection.
  • Women: Don't be afraid to be yourself. If you want to go to 'Bongo Mama's Chitlin Shack' instead of 'Le Chateau de Filet Mignon,' then say so.
  • Women: Remember that men are less responsive to non-verbal cues. Step up your flirting just a notch if you want to get his attention.
  • Men: Be sure to show her that you are listening to her. Mirror some of her non-verbal cues, and respond to her by asking some questions about what she just said rather than only responding with information about yourself. For example, you can respond with "Really? You used to live in Idaho? What was that like?" instead of "I've never been to Idaho."
  • Men: Though eye contact is important, be sure not to stare at her. That deep trance-like stare can actually be a little scary. Be sure to make eye-contact during conversation. Before a date actually happens, know that a long stare might not be roping them in. Make subtle eye-contact at first, and wait for the conversation kicks it up a notch before really studying her face.
  • Try to keep an 'open' body position. Pay attention to how you are leaning and whether your arms, hands, legs, or feet are crossed.
  • Try using body language that says you are attracted to the other person on purpose. Keep your body pointed toward the other person, and slightly raise your eyebrows when the other person speaks to you.

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