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Writing a Poem: Creating Effective Imagery and Tone 
 
by Amy J. Grier May 26, 2005

4. Imagine Senses and Objects in Unusual Ways

“She watches the sun set.” The sun is “setting” on the horizon. Inherent in this imagery is the sun as a static, solid object in control of itself—it is doing the setting. What if the sun were a liquid? We could write, “The sun melts,” or “drips,” or “liquefies,” or “stains” the horizon. What if the sun were a gas? Perhaps it “dissipates” over the horizon, or “suffocates” it. Notice how quickly the tone of the poem changes from neutral (“the sun sets”) to threatening “the sun melts”—will it return tomorrow?) to deadly (“the sun suffocates the horizon”).

We think we know the color or colors of a setting sun, but let’s think as specifically as possible. For example:

She watches as

the yellow-orange sun

melts into spreading hues

of indigo and green,

staining the dusty blue sky.

Now our imagery creates a more complicated tone. The colors are radiant and beautiful, but the words “melts” and particularly “staining” carry threatening connotations of finality and danger. The sun is in control; “she” at this point merely observes.

These examples deal with only the sense of sight. Now let’s stretch our imagination even more. What does the sun smell like? What if the sun were cold instead of hot? What noise does a setting sun make?

How about:

She smells toasted air;

the sun burns the sky

from blue to brown.

Or:

She watches the icy sun in its

slow-motion crash;

shards of orange and purple

pierce the horizon.

Or:

She listened as the sun sang

a luscious tune in

mezzo-soprano before

waving a yellow goodbye.

By now you can see there is no end to the way imagery and the senses can be used in a poem. It all depends on the tone you wish to set.

Let’s get just a bit more picky with our description. “She watches” does not tell us very much about our subject. Maybe her eyes could be the subject:

Her eyes absorb

the melting orange sun.

Perhaps this:

Her eyes catch the shards

of purple and orange

breaking away from the

icy, orange sun.

Or this:

Her eyes melt to tears

to see the sun lower itself

from crystalline yellow

to orange-red

to purple-blue

to dusky brown

to starry nothing.

There are so many ways to “watch.” Which would you choose?

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