Aretha Franklin had it right: all we need is a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. It’s funny if you stop to think about it: we treat perfect strangers with more respect than we treat the ones we love sometimes. It’s unbelievable how far a little common courtesy will go in a relationship – if you’re going to be late, call. If you’re thinking about going out, discuss it with your mate in advance rather than an hour before you’re supposed to leave with your friends. Be courteous and polite. Your mate deserves your consideration!
They maintain their independence.
It’s an all-too-common scenario: you have two separate people, David and Vanessa. Then David and Vanessa become a couple, and before you know it, they morph into Davidnessa. Nearly all of us can relate; I’m sure you’ve had a friend ditch you in favor of an exciting new love before. Unfortunately, it happens. And it’s easy to let it happen.
Successful couples know that they must maintain their independence in order to be the best partner they can be. One way to do this is to not lose touch with your friends. Designate a time to be with them, at least once a week, and enjoy yourself – and no fudging by bringing your guy along as if it were a group date. You can handle an afternoon or evening away from your partner, and besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder!
Your mate should add something to your life, not take away from it. Don’t give up on doing the activities you enjoyed before you became somebody’s “other half.” The two of you are still individuals, just as you always have been – a fact that should be celebrated, not changed. Spending too much time attached at the hip can make one or both parties feel smothered, so it’s crucial that you both keep pursuing your own interests; it’s perfectly okay if he doesn’t like to go to your Wednesday evening scrapbooking sessions or if you don’t feel like being dragged along to yet another wrestling match. Sharing your interests can be healthy, but it isn’t necessary – nor is it recommended – to share every single one. You need some things for yourself. Keep your scrapbooking date, and let him have his night out with the guys.
It’s also easy to lose your identity in a relationship if one side tends to dominate. If you find yourself bending to your mate’s every whim, doing everything he wants to do with no input of your own, stop it! Your input is just as important as his. If you’re going to thrive as a couple, you’re going to have to learn to stand up for yourself.