Bullies often have an underlying reason for their actions. They frequently target kids who are different than themselves and work to exploit the differences. They choose their victims carefully and pick on those who they think will not retaliate. The victim might wear glasses, be overweight, have cultural differences, have learning disorders or invisible disabilities, such as Asperger’s Syndrome. Other victims can be chosen because they excel in academics or get very poor marks. Any difference at all makes them a target.
Inside the Mind of a Bully
No one can tell if a child is a bully by looking at them. Teachers and other people of authority are often deceived by bullies because these children are always on their best behavior when adults are present. These kids are charming and manipulative. Bullies are often the most popular kids at school. Others are children who have social disorders, or who are dealing with difficult situations in their life at home. Possibly their parents are separated or getting a divorce. Maybe the child is being physically, emotionally or sexually abused. Possibly they are the victims of bullying by a parent, guardian, caregiver or another person in authority. Some bullies see their actions as normal because their family life is dysfunctional. They maybe used to being in a home environment where anger, cursing, hitting, and name calling is normal. In this case, their self esteem is very low and they get a boost when they taunt, torment and threaten others.
Whatever the scenario, bullies usually bully their victims as a way of dealing with problems in their own lives. They seek out weaker kids in order to be accepted, feel important and be in complete control. Bullies come in all sizes and shapes, but usually pick victims who are smaller than they are.
Another type of bully is the one who is nice to your child’s face when they are experiencing a one-on-one situation, but bullies the child when others are present. This usually occurs because of peer pressure. All kids want to be accepted and will do almost anything in order to make acceptance possible. So, when there are others around they mimic their actions. They think it’s fun to show-off and they enjoy the attention that they get from their peers.