When you start writing to people and eventually focus on one person with whom you feel a special connection, it is important to get to know them as best as you can. Talk about everything, address all the subjects that are important to you, ask for their opinion, and do not spare any efforts on thorough discussion and answering each other’s questions. There is nothing wrong with flirting and joking, but remember that it is not shallow chit-chat that builds a relationship.
My answer to the question of whether it’s possible to really get to know someone via e-mail and phone calls is yes – if you are serious about it. Brief e-mails and funny phone calls will accomplish nothing. “Hi, how are you, I’ve just got home from work, see ya,” does not tell you much about the person, does it? You may be writing every day, but it is the quality of what you write that counts. If you do a good job communicating, sharing and learning, you will feel like you really know each other when you finally meet.