Showers can be tricky: who to invite? Who should host? Is there an appropriate way to ask for money instead of gifts? It’s definitely exciting to receive gifts, and helpful in starting any bride’s new life as a wife, but the focus should be on celebrating the union – not how much stuff you can amass (three Crock Pots? All riiiiight!).
Family members of the bride should never host a shower; this could be perceived as begging for gifts. The only exception is that a relative may host if she’s the maid/matron of honor.
Never host your own shower – yikes!
If there are going to be multiple showers, and you’re the mother or future mother-in-law of the bride, or a bridesmaid, you should attend all of them; however, you’re not expected to bring a gift to each one.
Never invite the same guest to multiple showers.
It is acceptable for a remarrying bride to have a shower.
Only invite people to the shower that are invited to the wedding.
Never request money in lieu of other gifts! You can mention to someone in the bridal party that you’d like to receive money instead of gifts, and rely on word-of-mouth, but it should never be specified on a shower invitation. You could also start your own wedding website and “hint around” with an online blog.
If (heaven forbid) your wedding is cancelled or annulled, you must return all gifts to their respective givers.