Respect your child whether he has a lot of casual friends or only one or two close friends. He knows his comfort zone and will move forward when he is ready. Children differ in social style. They make friends slowly or very quickly. Don’t push.
If your child is reluctant to make friends, or shy, encourage him to spend time with other kids. Don’t push; be practical. Change dinner hour to accommodate his play time. Offer your home as a hang out once a week, or take your child and his friends on an outing. Allow the child to invite a friend along on a family out him or allow your child to ask him to sleep over. Children whose parents are involved in their social life grow into more social beings.
If your child has problems with a friend, talk to him about it and help him decide how to go about solving it.
Teasing and Bullying
Let your child know there is zero tolerance level for teasing and bullying. If other kids tease or bully him, encourage him to tell you. If it’s happening at school, insist he speak to his teacher or the school principal. Nip this behavior in the bud. It can lead to significantly bigger problems. Swarming has been the cause of severe injury and death. Teasing and bullying must not be allowed to progress and needs to be stopped when it begins.
Children with disorders on the autism spectrum or with speech, hearing or language problems are often teased and bullied by their peers. They don’t mention it to their parent, teachers or other adults because they are trying to fit in or they are afraid that telling will only make things worse. This can cause them to fear the school day and also to have low self esteem. They think that their physical or mental problem makes them less of a person. Try to ease their social burden by inviting someone your child likes to your home for an afternoon of play. Keep you eye on them and don’t hesitate to intervene to encourage social skills. This teaches both children to come to a solution of their problems rather than having them solved for them, or letting them continue, unsolved.
Be a model of proper social interaction. Kids watch parents in order to learn from them. If your child sees that socializing causes you stress, it will cause him stress as well.
If your child continues to display unwarranted fears about socializing, withdraws from other kids his age, or is constantly having problems with classmates, consider getting him professional help to get him over the hurdle. You may be surprised at the outcome.
Stay involved in your child’s social life. Get to know his friends and show an interest in them. Staying informed can keep your child from getting in with the wrong crowd as he grows into adolescence and becomes a teenager.