Stress or fear can wreak havoc on a person’s sex drive; who can feel sexy when ten million other worries are competing for your full attention? Sexual desire originates in the brain, so it’s no surprise that if your mind isn’t focused on the task at hand, it isn’t going to be the pleasurable experience you’d hoped for. So what can you do to quiet the other issues that are clamoring for consideration?
One stress-management technique is to set aside a specific “worry time” each day. Tell yourself that you have thirty minutes to worry and think about everything that’s bothering you, and don’t allow yourself to worry about it outside of that time period. When unwanted anxieties creep into your consciousness, visualize yourself encapsulating them in soap bubbles and blowing them away.
This is another case in which scheduled sex can be beneficial. Take a few minutes before your “date” and calm yourself: practice some deep-breathing techniques, and try to clear your mind of anything but the delightful experience you’re about to share with your partner. Give yourself permission to stop worrying for this little bit of time and enjoy your romantic tryst. After all, it isn’t like your problem would be solved if you weren’t busy having sex.
If it’s something sexual that you’re worried about, such as pregnancy or STDs, make sure you take precautions beforehand. Arm yourself with condoms and other methods of protection so that you can be absolved of any anxieties concerning your sexual wellbeing.
Stress can be dealt with most effectively by a healthy person. Keep your body in good condition: eat right, exercise, refrain from smoking and drinking (at least to excess) and practice relaxation techniques. Try taking a yoga class or a meditation seminar.