Being an Alpha female. If you’re successful in business, you’re probably using the same tactics to attract guys that made you a success in the workplace. The characteristics that work for you in your career won’t necessarily work for you in a relationship. This isn’t to say that you should pretend you don’t have those characteristics; indeed, you should be proud of them, because they make you the strong woman that you are. But perhaps in the realm of dating and relationships, it’s time to push your other, less dominant characteristics to the forefront.
Expecting too much, too soon. Blame the Cinderella stories, the romance novels and the sappy movies – sometimes we think we’ve found “The One” after just a couple of dates. Unfortunately, this rarely happens in real life, and is often due to a rush of new-relationship infatuation. If, after a cappuccino and a movie, you’re calling your mom to say that you have a new boyfriend, you should probably re-examine your ideas about how relationships work. It isn’t necessary to define a relationship (the sticky question of “are we or aren’t we a couple”) so quickly. Just enjoy being together and learning new things about each other. If the feelings are mutual, you’ll both slip easily into a committed relationship over time. Wait until those initial feelings of euphoria have died down before deciding that you can’t live without him.
Being commitment-phobic. It may be that things are progressing too quickly in the relationship, and the inertia scares you. Or that you’re just not sure that there isn’t a better deal out there. Whatever the reason, you have to ask yourself why you’re in a serious relationship to begin with, when you’re so obviously not ready. Is it due to pressure put on you by family and friends? Is it because you’re afraid of being hurt? When you get to the root of the problem, it’s much easier to solve.