There’s not much that can sour a person’s lovin’ mood faster than feeling like the hired help. When one person does the majority of the household drudgery, that’s exactly what ends up happening – they feel like an underpaid, underappreciated manservant; then resentment builds. Author and syndicated columnist Azriela Jaffe says, “Most of us fight with each other about who's working harder than whom, who's making the most mess in the house and who should clean it up. … Give up this notion of what's fair. You can fight for the rest of your marriage about what's fair and never solve it."
To get both parties equally involved in chores, assign them by skill and preference – not stereotype. Just because he’s a macho man doesn’t mean he can’t give the living room a good swipe with the feather duster, and just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you can’t put a little muscle into mowing the yard. Decide who does what chore the best, and divvy them up that way. For chores that you can do together, such as raking leaves, make it fun by having a leaf fight or jumping into the pile after you’ve raked it. Or if you’re alone together in the house, lock the doors and have some raunchy fun with naked housecleaning (you can still clean the house together if you want to make it G-rated, of course; just crank up some music and clean fully clothed). If you and your partner still can’t delegate chores without bickering, hire a housekeeper – the price will be worth the valuable peace that’s restored to your household!
They rely on each other, not their parents.
Girls, we’re all guilty of it – having a fight with our husbands and running directly to complain to our mothers. But guys aren’t off the hook; although they may be less frequently guilty of this, they still do it. Happy couples know that when they have a disagreement, they can settle it by themselves without having to involve a one-sided third party. It doesn’t even have to be a disagreement – many people seek counsel from their parents about a pressing issue regarding the partnership rather than talking about it with their significant other. Either way, one party feels either left out or resentful. The first task in a serious and dedicated relationship is to separate from your family of origin; you’re forming a new family now. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be involved with your parents, siblings, and extended family! It just means that now, you have your own family to think about, and there isn’t room for Mom or Dad when it comes to making important decisions.