We beat ourselves up enough every day – so why do we make room in our precious
life for those who’s cross to bear is pointing out our every little flaw? These
folks can be taxing on your soul, and allow us to create unhealthy opinions of
who we are. Don’t let them, instead:
For every aspect of your
life they put down, throw up the positive. So, you didn’t get the job you
set out for, but the new one is even better. Yes, maybe you didn’t lose
the baby weight as soon as someone else did, but look at how your child is
thriving. You get the picture. This re-instates your belief in yourself
while eliminating their opinion of how you should be.
Sometimes (but not always)
a little taste of their own medicine is all they need. Take five minutes
to belittle them – they will probably go into shock and then get angry.
When they look like they have had enough, apologize- tell them you didn’t
mean what you said – but explain to them that they do that very thing to
you every time you are in the same room together. Not so nice, is it?
Ignore them. If they choose
to belittle you, why can’t you choose to take that time to do something
better? Yes, they may get frustrated with you, but it sends them the
message that you don’t have room for that kind of meaningless discussion.
Practice tough love – if
your belittler happens to be a relative, cut them off until they can
change. When they call and start into their belittling mode, tell them you
love them, but you just don’t have room in your life for such negativity;
then hang up. They will either stop calling, or start saying something
nice for a change.
Cut them off. Don’t give
them the satisfaction of belittling you. If nothing else works, get rid of
them.