Your baby was born with good instincts. He will naturally be happier in a place where he feels safer, and right next to you is the best spot in the house! Babies do not cry to manipulate adults. They are not capable of malicious intent! They cry because an internal message tells them something is wrong. The problem may be a soiled diaper or feeling hot, cold, hungry, thirsty, tired, lonely, or just plain cranky. Your baby doesn’t know what the problem is, only that something doesn’t feel right and he needs your help. He craves your attention during the day, and he does not expect it to end when the sun goes down!
Some parents counter that sleep training works. It does, but for the wrong reasons. Your baby does not eventually stop crying out because he feels safe and secure alone in his bed. He stops crying out because he realizes that it is futile, and he has given up hope of your coming to meet his need. What does he learn from this? How does it affect the groundwork for his self esteem? Be forewarned that needs unmet in childhood have a way of manifesting later on.
Independence cannot be forced on a child. He will move forward when he feels confident, and this confidence is gained when he knows his needs will be met, day or night. Indulging your child when he is small allows him to be more independent later. Children who are welcomed into their parents’ sleeping spaces are generally more confident and perform better in school.
Babies and toddlers who co-sleep are more likely to have secure attachments to their primary caregivers than those who sleep alone. They are also more likely to value relationships with people, whereas solitary sleepers often cling to security objects such as pacifiers or stuffed animals.
Finally, co-sleeping sensibly is safer for your child! He will be at less risk for SIDS. He will be protected from intruders and sexual predators. And if a fire breaks out or disaster strikes, you will be better able to speed him to safety.