There are many reasons that a new mom might be feeling miles away from the sexy vixen she once was. When you’ve recently given birth, first and foremost, you hurt. Whether you’ve had a vaginal birth or a C-section, recovery is a long and painful road. Even once you’ve healed, sex isn’t always comfortable. If you’re breastfeeding, you may be experiencing vaginal dryness. Add to that the many other libido-lowering factors – postpartum depression, negative body image, fear of another pregnancy, fluctuating hormone levels, mind-numbing fatigue – and it’s a wonder that anyone ever has more than one child.
Don’t worry; your sex drive will return if you give yourself plenty of time (and plenty of patience on your partner’s end). Explain to your partner why you’re not feeling amorous, so that he doesn’t incorrectly assume that the baby has taken his place. Remember that even though your sex drive may not be up to par, your partner’s probably still is, so it’s important to find an alternative to suit both of you until your libido returns. Cuddling, hand-holding, sensual massage, and oral sex can all be good substitutes.
Medications
Surprisingly, some of the medications you ingest can take quite a toll on your sex drive, even if that medication is wholly unrelated to anything sexual. Birth control pills are one culprit: they lower levels of testosterone and androgens, leading to a diminished sexual appetite and contributing to vaginal dryness. Medications for high blood pressure are another.
Unfortunately, if you’re dealing with depression, the medication you use to treat your condition (MAOIs, Tricyclics, and SSRIs among them) may lead to a loss of sex drive. But left untreated, the effects of depression may be worse, sexually speaking, than the effects of the antidepressant drugs. Nearly seventy-five percent of people diagnosed with depression report a loss of interest in sex. It makes you feel drained, listless, and emotional, and the last thing you care about under those circumstances is being sexually active. If you’re taking an antidepressant and feeling unwanted sexual side effects, there may be a connection; ask your doctor about switching to one of the newer drugs, such as Wellbutrin, that have been proven successful in combating a reduced sex drive. But don’t stop taking or alter the dosage of your medication without speaking to your doctor first.
Medical Conditions
The weirdest, most unexpected things can cause a lack of sexual interest … your thyroid, for example. One of the common symptoms reported among people with an under-active thyroid is a loss of libido. Hormone deficiencies can also be to blame, as can any sort of metabolic disorder: an eating disorder or illness, anything that negatively affects your metabolism. So can diabetes. So can high blood pressure. See what I’m talking about? If your sex drive has gone AWOL, and you can’t figure out the cause, it’s time to call your doctor for a thorough physical.